This has been the month of the heart! How is it going? Have you paid attention to what is happening in your heart? This has been quite a challenging month for me! It holds many happy and sad memories and anniversaries of death. Life is like that if you have a history of loss. Thankfully I know to allow and connect to express sadness but also joy! The tools of the Grief Recovery Method® and HeartMath® help me move through challenging days and know that while I’m in the hard days that clearing is coming. I know it doesn’t always feel good to have bad or sad days but if you can begin to see that a range of emotions is normal and natural as a human being, the more you can just allow yourself to move through them.
And finally to the grief recovery bits – if you found that Valentine’s Day brought up some unhappy memories, or if, like me there are other reasons for some challenging days I’d like to address some thoughts about grief.
- The conflicting feelings following the end of, or change in, a change of familiar pattern or behavior.
- The lost hopes, dreams, and expectations when a relationship changes or ends.
What if, after your last break up, you thought you’d find a boyfriend and finally have the perfect date for Valentine’s Day, but you’re still single? Isn’t that a hope, dream, or expectations that didn’t come to fruition?
What if, every Valentine’s Day you think about your ex-wife and miss planning romantic Valentine’s Day dates? Then realize you thought you’d be spending the holiday together for the rest of your lives? Isn’t that grief?
What to do if you feel sad and/or bad habits to avoid feeling have escalated:
- Be aware. If you notice you are out of the moment, thinking about the past, acknowledge it.
- Tell the truth about yourself. If you are sad, say so. Find a loving friend with whom you can share your honest feelings with.
- Get in the moment. After telling the truth about what is preoccupying your thoughts, see if you can get back in the moment by focusing on what is in front of you.
- Be honest. Ask yourself if there were things you wish would have ended different, better, or more. If so, you might be incomplete with the relationship you are thinking about. Until you get complete with that relationship you capacity for happiness will be limited.